I’ve always been one of those people who tries to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I trust at first meet. I believe everyone has a good heart. That they are kind and well meaning. Until I find out they aren’t. I have a good friend who tells me that I’m not like most people, that I need to guard my feelings because “people don’t think like you”.
I try to be careful. To be mindful and a feelings guard to my oh so sensitive heart. But sometimes I guess my guards are off duty? Or maybe they are off battling another soul gouger. Either way, it sinks. Being sensitive is not a fun way to live, especially when there are so many people who have perfected the art of being so nonchalant about how what they say and do. Part of me thinks all of this pandemic isolation has caused people to forget societal norms and basic kindness expectations. Or maybe it has brought out their truest selves. Either way the kindness bucket needs some filling.
But there’s me still trusting others and giving them the benefit of the doubt. And then… whoops, I did it again. I guess I should look into Ross’s Armadillo costume. Maybe that would give me that extra layer I need. I want to wave and say “hey there remember me?” I only recently found out about blocking someone. Seriously? We block people as adults? But then one day, it all pays off. Like a kindergarten kid approaching another kid on the play ground “will you play with me”? And the sheer joy when the kid returns the electric smile and says “SURE”. And bang another soul mate has been found.
I recently had my astrology chart read, again. This time the results were shared with me, rather than the person giving me some dark warning of “oh my goodness you don’t want to know”. Cause let me tell you, that will certainly set you off your access. And while I don’t really completely understand all that I have been shared, I can tell you, that the information is spot on. Like Spot. On. Turns out, I am a heart on the sleeve warrior. I fight for truth and justice and this is likely why I’m fairly certain I am a relative of Wonder Woman.. like it’s in my blood line or something. All joking aside though, this chart reading was like a manual that not only gave me insight, but also gave me some forethought.
I do have high expectations of others and that’s ok. I am like the Tasmanian Devil with my energy level, but I don’t seek and destroy willie-nilly. I juggle and can-can dance my way through it with a little bit of side bar comedy. And at the same time, people know I care. They usually know I mean well.
I don’t know if this “insight guide” will help me in finding my purpose. Or will help me in knowing myself any better, or any worse. Or if I’m to spend my days wandering throughout life wondering why so and so stopped talking to me, or if so and so didn’t see me in that public space or is ignoring me. I at first thought it was insecurity driving this force. But as I consider it more, I know it’s not. I know that I wouldn’t ignore someone on purpose. I wouldn’t look the other way. I wouldn’t stop talking to someone that I have had a relationship with, not without just cause and much discussion. So in the end, you do you Bo as they say. And I’ll do me. I will continue to treat others like I would like to be treated and hope they will reciprocate. And if they don’t? Maybe the stars aren’t aligned for us today. Either way, it’s not about me, and or my sanity. I will choose to keep those I love close and hold them tight making sure they know how I feel and the rest can ebb and flow. And that my friends will help us keep our sanity.
What does the chart say?
Keeping (in)Sanity 