Yesterday I saw a commercial about being nice to people “you never know what they are going thru”. I passed a middle school with “Be Kind” made out in the school colors on their fence facing the main road. I see shirts and hats and stickers all advocating for kindness. I think being kind is fantastic, but why the sudden need to educate people about it? When did people start needing the reminder? The training?
If you think about it, that’s pretty unsettling. That means the majority of our population is unkind? Or does it mean that we have become so wrapped up in ourselves that we forget how to take care of others? Or is it that we can no longer see the smile on each others faces as we try to protect each other from viruses?
I recently went through a Chick-fil-A where the girl did not tell me to have a nice day, she did not say my pleasure, in fact she said “what do you think I’m some sort of idiot?”. The only reason I had asked her to repeat my order was because she had said that my drink was fruit punch when I had said Diet Coke and for those of you that know me that would have been a huge mistake for my palate. I also think all these texts I receive about losing 6 to 8 inches off my waist and all these pounds is quite unkind I never asked to be sent all this information. How do they know what size my waist is? How do they know how many pounds I need to lose? And how do they know they are not creating some sort of insecurity in my already neurotic brain that causes me to focus on these anonymous texts that I receive? I mean I’m just saying what if?
Maybe it is social media that has added to the theme of unkindness. In Facebook forums and neighborhood groups some people feel that they are free to speak a non-censored soliloquy about their feelings regarding the school bus drop offs, or peoples lawns, or any number of things. Whereas in the past they would’ve only talk to their friends about it or maybe just kept their business to themselves. But now, we go live on Facebook while eating our dinner to tell people how horrendous they are and how we live in the expensive part of the neighborhood and everybody should bow down to us. Yes, I recently experienced this and it was every bit as shocking and disheartening to see as one would expect. In a neighborhood that should seemingly be extremely supportive of each other there are always those folks that do what they feel like they need to do and it ends up hurting everyone’s feelings.
Maybe we should preach be kind to middle and high schoolers. Because I’ve heard there’s lots of kids that are not being kind right now there are bullies there are competitions amongst individuals to see who can assault the most their peers. And these kids are afraid to tell their parents, they’re afraid to tell the administrators because of the fear that is instilled in them by the bullies. I work with many a teen who is facing this bullying and despite doing what I think would be the right thing they are too afraid to say or do anything. so at what point do we stop printing the words be kind and start speaking the words be kind. At what point do we start showing as in our actions speak louder than our words. How about saying hello to people when you see them in public rather than looking the other way even though you just commented on something they said on Facebook? I truly believe that everyone wants to be kind, they want to have good interactions with other people, they don’t want to be bullies. But I think somewhere along the lines and along the years they just forgot how to do it. We have one major role in our family and it is to be kind to everyone. I hope that my children consistently follow this rule wherever they go.
I get the concept of the #BeKind, IActuallyLikeItAndHaveMadeQuiteA fewShirtsThatSayItAtTheSameTimeThoughIGuessILiveInSomeSortOfDistortedUtopiaWhereIBelieveThatAtTheCoreMostPeopleAreGenuinelyNice andKind.IGuessThisExplainsWhyMyHeartGetsPushedSoFrequentlyBecausePeopleShockMeWithTheirBehaviors andTheirLackOfSensitivity.ButWhoAmIToJudge? WhoAmIToSayThatThere isn’tSomethingElseGoing onThatIsReallyBehindThere
So I thought about going back and fixing that mess tight voice translation in the paragraph above. But I actually think it is super funny and so I’m leaving it that way. But for those who cannot read mushed up words it basically says, who am I to judge that those folks that do hurt my feelings did it on purpose? Maybe they have something more important than me going on in their lives and it’s really not my place to be concerned with how their actions affect me. Maybe they are doing some sort of self-preservation. Or maybe, I am too much for them and pushing me away is the only way that I can take a hint. I have recently become friends with someone who also wears their heart on their sleeve. She is one of the kindest people I have met in a long time. So if wearing your heart on your sleeve means you are kind and care about others. Then I guess I’ll continue to wear mine there and continue to encourage others to be kind and maybe by the time I’m an old grandmother the tides will have changed and kindness will be the norm.
In the meantime, I will continue to encourage my family to follow our family mantra of being nice to everyone and at the same time encouraging my children to stay strong in their self-worth and in their self-esteem. Because just because someone isn’t kind doesn’t mean that it’s a reflection of you, or even a full reflection of them as a human being. Maybe our new world mantra should be give peace a chance. Because we need something otherwise it is going to be continually hard to keep our sanity.
Keeping (in)Sanity 