Love, Laughter and Funeral

It seems as of late we have had more and more sorrows and troubles being brought to us. I don’t know whether it’s the pandemic and the isolation that causes many people to focus on the negativity going on. Or perhaps there really is just that much more that is pervasive in our society. From mental health issues, to COVID, to violence and fighting. The list can go on and on if one searches hard enough for the negatives. Are we a nation now truly divided? A people separated? Or are we just so siloed that we have become caught in our own tornadoes?

I have friends who have lost their jobs, their homes, their relationships. People who have lost loved ones. There are others who have found financial fortune and love and happiness. If a historian were to compare the last 15 years, I wonder if 2020 and 2021 really are statistically worse years for people or whether we are just feeling it more because of how we are currently forced to live.

I can tell you that individual outlook and perspective make a tremendous difference on how one experiences just about anything. I recently had someone close to me who lost their sister to the COVID pandemic. Her sorrow was raw, real, and consuming. My heart broke for her because there was little that I could do, especially from a distance, that could bring her any comfort at all. That can be the hardest sometimes, watching those around you emotionally suffering and feeling that you have nothing to offer that can bring them any peace. Only to add to her emotional bereft was the fact that she would not be able to travel to be a part of her sisters final blessings. She would have to attend by zoom meeting, the albeit helpful but perceived cold new way of experiencing life with loved ones.

Then, the other day she messaged me that she was able to zoom chat with her nieces and that made her feel a little bit better. Now, for the rest of this story, you’re probably going to want to pause. Maybe get some tissues and sit down.

I received this text message today…

… (my sister was laid to rest today). She was afraid to drive but loved to ride. She said if this is going to be my last ride, it’s going to take a while.
The hearse hit a pot hole on the highway on the way to the cemetery.
The hearse obtained a flat tire.
2 limousines and a hearse are now pulled over on the side of the road. (In NYC)
I can hear my sister laughing her butt off, in a manner you only heard when something was truly funny!
Her daughters said this was her doing also. As the casket was loaded from one hearse to another the traffic came to a serious slow down. What would you think, if you saw a casket on the side of a highway being transferred from one hearse to another. All we could do while this was happening is laugh hysterically.
And say this is Jay’s doing, she had to have the last laugh…

So even in their saddest moments, they were able to find laughter. I think there is an momentous amount to be learned from this. Perspective it’s not just about how we view things but also how we choose to respond to them. So even in our saddest and darkest moments, we can still remember those moments that made us laugh and the things that bring us joy. Finding even the smallest thread on which to hold to pull us through. For truly if we do anything other we will not be able to keep our sanity.

RIP Jaunita 2021

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