Turkey Takedown

How’s that song go? (Sung to the tune of 12 Days of Christmas)… 12 unidentifiable bruises, 11 rolls of TP, 10 muddy paw prints, 9 soccer take downs, 8 vitamins a day, 7 people for dinner, 6 scented plug ins, 5 hours of sleep, 4 tidy surfaces, 3 homeschoolers, 2 cars in the shop, and 1 frozen turkey neck to the jaw.

That about summarizes our November. This year while flying by passes time like molasses running backwards up the hillside. Preparing for Thanksgiving was… not event, perhaps an undertaking? I voted for a candy only day only to be overruled for a more traditional meal. So, Thanksgiving eve has my husband and K3 scouring the stores for the necessary fixings. Thrilled to find a farm fresh turkey and a premade brine we were ahead of the 8 ball… seemingly. Until the brine is MIA and the turkey is half frozen. I discovered this when I went to pull the inners out and found myself having to use much more force than expected. At first I chalked it up to the frequent inability to use my thumbs… rendering me like a zoo animal without opposable thumbs. However I found when I pulled harder the bird was still slightly frozen. I guess my tugging has loosened the ice enough because I then found myself tripping backwards with the neck having come loose and then promptly punching myself in the jaw. But, the turkey was then empty at least, save the few straggling ice crystals. Wrestling it into the brine bag and cooler was quite the scene too. Only to be followed by an outbreak of balloon ball which then caused my favorite bamboo to plummet to the floor and gouge my hardwood floor. Never. A. Dull. Moment.

For some reason my body bruises so easily nowadays… if my jeans are snug and I sneeze I have bruising where the seams hit. Well maybe not that bad, but playing in our family game of soccer showed me I may have some sort of blood disorder. My 16 year old walloped a ball into my thigh- he was aiming for the goal, I merely was trying to prevent it from going in. Not realizing he has the force of a cannon in that leg. But it’s all good, we balanced it out with a fabulous shot to my tooshie and heavens knows what else. All I know is I used every drop of epson salt that night… forgetting day 2 is always the worst. Never. A. Dull. Moment.

Our schools have returned the kids to home due to fears about COVID. I’m fairly certain they will begin to make human sized incubators soon. For the parents so that we can have some much needed TLC as we resume the dance of working full time, helping with school, keeping a tidy home (hence the measly 4 tidy surfaces), and oh yeah Christmas. I’ve been advised I’m not allowed on the roof this year. But it’s so peaceful up there. Until my foot slides a bit and I drop a light or two before i catch myself like a falling Clark Griswold. . Never. A. Dull. Moment.

I got a Cricut for my birthday. I can’t wait to figure out how the heck to use it. Do you know those things don’t come with instructions?! Today was a day off for me, in between taking my car for the end of the month inspection and a quick jaunt to a town 25 minutes away to find out why my vehicle was never registered with the DMV when we bout it in January… I tried to make stuff. Today, I did not succeed in making stuff. But I did learn exactly what NOT to do. For example, a nut cracker tool does not replace the actual instruments needed to complete a task. It’s like a surgeon using a knitting needle. Never. A. Dull. Moment.

But as we find repairs for broken starters and inquire about check engine lights. We look forward to December full of medical testing, dentist appointments, continued weight loss, health healing, and raising scaffolding to put up lights. We have to find the joy in every day, we must. I’ll take any time with my turkeys that I can get. No matter how tiny. For this is what helps to keep our sanity.

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