Oh, I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain
I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I’d see you again… James Taylor
Are you struggling? Have you told your friends? I have seen so many friends struggling recently and afraid to speak out regarding what is going on in their lives because they are afraid the judgment they will receive from others. Or for fear that they will not receive any support at all. What does that say about us?
I have a friend whose partner was placed on hospice and during that time no one came to sit with them. Then their partner died, and no one came to sit with them. And then they came for them to say goodbye, and no one was there for it. Another struggling with their child , hesitant to reach out because they are aware that people know … yet very few have made contact. What about the one with relationship difficulties? The one that is afraid to tell anyone for fear of judgment, lack of support, and ultimately feeling worse.
Have we become so dependent on social media that it has become the only way we expect updates from each other? What happened to telephone trees? Meal trains? Calling just to check in?
What about the guy at work whose mom is sick… has anyone asked him how things are going? How about the one out on leave for months… has anyone checked on them? Do you know some of your friends are divorcing? Just had surgery? Have a sick loved one? Are depressed?
We search for love and friendships. We used to yearn for connection. And we hold those close, until we just… don’t anymore. And it scars. We wonder what did I do? Where did they go? What happened to Check-Ins and popping byes? Are we sick of hearing how hard of a time people are having?
I sit and wonder
What did I do?
I thought I lived
A life of giving.
Alas here I sit
The tears stream fast
I held their hands
Now mine is empty.
I sat with them
Yet now I’m alone.
I will not ask
For they do know.
I hear the whispers
But no one talks
We cannot lose out on being a friend. We are all connected. Your give is just as important as your get. We all have time, just need to make it. What is important? Sometimes a text that says “just thinking about you “ can make the difference. I will continue to strive to check in on others, to be their light … and in the process, I won’t be lost in my own darkness which grows ever darker the more isolated I become.
As I challenge my family to a volunteer project my goal is to pull them towards others, towards each other so they remember to never leave anyone alone. Because together we can keep our sanity… alone the struggle is real.